woooooo

greetings beings. it's now 1.25am and i'm still up. why, it's the holidays after all ain't it?

i can feel my life spiraling out of control! i wonder how i was so conscientious during my primary school days. sucha freak. i brand myself as pretty much a slacker now. tend to take things a little too lightly. i'm like getting flighty and not being very focussed. and then you say, it's after the o levels, relax! but not when i've listed my interests being current affairs, politics and philosophy in my humans scholarship application!

whoa, i'm finally getting to taste what life is really about! woohoo to that! life is about working your ass off, meeting deadlines and being smart! i'm not a really street smart person, i've realised. neither am i someone who adapts easily, i've realised too! wah, seriously, i've had damn little experience in life. when i scan through what i've been doing the past few years, i think i've blown it.

(oh ya, by the way, beowulf seriously reminds me of macbeth. )


my school life has been pretty screwed thus far. primary school was lame, i barely keep in touch with anyone from my pri school. like, wth. sometimes i regret the decisions i make (ie transferring from the best em1 class in aitong to an em2 class). seriously, choices, choices.

and perhaps that sorta contributed to my a2 in chinese and my total lack of proficiency in the mother tongue! wah, my chinese sucks so bad! i come from an english-speaking home you see. but that isn't an excuse la, since i know of people who have the same circumstances yet do well in chinese. i guess i just suck! my chinese for now is like, basic conversational. but don't talk to me in chinese, you'll have me huh-ing and hemming and hawing! ok, that happens when i converse in english too, actually. wah, i suck!

i'm actually a-o-kay when i speak with people i'm familiar with, like i can really freely express and be myself! and you can count that number of people with both hands.

(shit i dont know if i'm hungry or what now, but my stomach feels kinda weird. stupid gastric juices. great, it's put me in a sucky mood! woo )

yay, a ranting post! finally! i've never really used my blog as an outlet, cos i really felt all this while i didn't really need to vent anything. but now i'm just being bored hahaha. in a sorta you know, reflective kinda mood. when i see people around me and look at the retarded way i'm leading my life, i do get thinking. i get envious, i wonder and i make comparisons. though i may seem blase, lifeless, boring, BLEH, i actually am pretty opinionated. it's just that, it's just that, i keep me opinions to meself. cos my mouth is perpetually shut and i hate it when people ask why i'm so shy and yadayada. i like can? i only open my mouth when it's time to eat and it's time to brush teeth and it's time to call Mc Delivery!!!!


rahhhhhhhhhhhhh! i'm BORED!!!!!! typing typing, this has to keep going i hope it keeps going... okok thinking of something to type! er er ok got it. i've been spending quite a substantial amount of time in church these days and there's this particular person who keeps asking me why i'm scared of girls! i'm not scared, dammit, i'm just not accustomed to interacting with the fairer sex! and i'm dead serious on that cos i've never ever recalled speaking to a girl! i guess cat high screwed me ( in terms of being a normal guy who can converse normally with girls!). but cat high is good, cat high is good.


so on the issue of girls, i seriously don't know how to engage a girl in a conversation. i'm okay on msn, but that pretty much is where it ends. and gosh, i'm going to college next year! a mixed school! with girls! i guess i'll just have to speakkkkk slowwwlyyyy. and listen more atteeennttaatively. cos, the situation now is like, i'll be so spastic and going "what?" before like scuttling off when a girl speaks to me. hahaha! and and and, i think, i think, it's a huge turn-off and i recognise that! i mean like i have things to say, like when i ponder later on, and "hindsight" the "conversation", and i realise that i could have acted in a more normal manner like i do around familiar people (ie GUYS).




and great, i just realised that this post would be publicised to the WORLD!!! hoohoo. but it's okay, since maybe this is what a blog is about in the first place for some peeps. a RANTING outlet! woohoo so there completes my first RANTING post! wanna subscribe?!?!