born to follow!

heyz everyone. my blog has been dying of late, and school has been becoming more uh, school-like. yeah, there's probably a relation between the two. it's not that i've been really caught up in schoolwork ( or rather, the catching up in academics) though. it's just that with these worries in mind, i function at like snail pace. and i'm already really finding it a struggle to write like i've always done in the past these days, it's as if i have writer's block perpetually. i just don't feel the flow in my writing and the sentences i churn out are short, abrupt and jerky.

UGHHH.

i can't even blog properly. haha well not that the posts i put up normally are darn proper anyways!

yeah, on another note, i can't help but feel awed/dwarfed/muted/intimidated by my class' superb sense of humour. it's a good thing that almost everyone is so witty though, it really livens things a whole lot! but i feel so strangely muted...

i'm being funny old me again la. i'd like really to speak up more and be more interesting as a person. but i'm about as absorbing as Memoirs of A Fox Hunting Man (not the "intensely humorous" work its proclaimed to be, you'd imagine. or at least to me) and quiet as erm, its spine.

so yeah. i'm feeling pretty much like a freak, ah! and i really wish i were more socially adept. like really. sighhhh. i guess cornroll is the only place where i'd really be me, for now.


and so, derek's greatest wish for now is to have faith in himself and confidence in what he does. like, really.


oh yeah, i caught juno today at the cathay with half of testosterone. haha, and my frailties were exposed big time once again!

ooh, goodness. this year's been the first time in my life i've had so much to think about regarding myself. and freak, my blog's gradually losing it's fly by and get high nature! pretty much reflects how my mindset's been shifted.


shit. i'm wondering if i'm maturing (ie entering real teenagehood) or just being stupid. and i really don't like this one bit! i'm desiring very much to get back to being a kid without an inkling of the angst i'm facing now! seems like it was just yesterday i was a ten-year-old.


retarded phase. i'm starting not to like life very much now.