I think I think I don't think.

That sentence above actually makes perfect sense, and I'm actually patting myself on my back for having crafted it. 

I don't think. I know I don't think. There was once this Simpsons episode when Marge was talking to Homer and in his mind was a monkey playing the cymbals. I thought it was pretty hilarious, and the image emerges in my mind more often these days when I reflect upon my erm, non-contemplative nature. 

I recognize that it's a good thing, and others do too. For it more or less leaves me with a significantly less number of worries than most people, and I am more often than not happy, content and blissful. 

But you know, being the thinking person that I am, I analyse and realize that there are definitely drawbacks to this mind of mine. Well, for one, I certainly suffer on the acadamic side of things, esp in the Humanz Programme where I am required to scrutinize every single detail and make sensible, logical arguments. And well, RJC is supposed to develop thinkers. So I lose out here. Call it lazy, call it irresponsible, but I am not cut out for the world of academia. I will never be an academic. I would rather be happy you see. And I know I would too. 

It's just me, I don't especially crave for knowledge. And I don't think I have a particular thirst for reading and knowing. I know this will not put me in good stead for my studies, but I think there are more important things in life. I am sick and tired of having to back up everything with evidence, making sure there are no contradictions and loopholes. I hate argument. Why argue? If only to have yourself above another, to prove yourself more worthy. And attack this for all I care, I dont care to defend it because your opinions don't matter to me. 

I am disguted, I am disappointed, I am sad that people actually seek solace in intellect and derive a perverse enjoyment from it. It is perverse, because it is selfish, it is without emotion. 

It gnaws at me as I create this post, because I have dragged myself into the mud. I'm sorry. But I hope I've made my point. 

I think I have.