Love all, Derek to serve.

This moment I come not to talk love, or at least the kind of love that is shared between husband and wife, because I am not in love. 

Oh, by the way, my rabbit got strangled by a leash thingy today. It would have been rather saddening if it had died. It was funny, I wasn't home when it happened, it definitely was most unfortunate and might have been rather traumatic on the bbit, but fortunately my sister managed to un-entangle, or distangle or disentangle the leash in time, for she had thought bbit was performing a new trick for a while. 

Oh yes, that's a little random snippet there. Let me move on to things more important in life, yet not too pressing. Not yet at least, not for me at this point in time for love (of the BGR sort) has yet to come knocking on my heart's door (most queer and poor expression), and rather fortunately too. 

Then you question why I might want to talk about love, what I want to do with this post. Well, I am not talking love, as I've mentioned earlier, for I do not know what it is. I want to do nothing with this post, I'm just feeling like I'd want to think a bit about what life might present in the future (perhaps near future?). 

So, I don't know, here I am, a noob and oddball all of 17 years old, probably the least suited person in the world to be having a post on love. Lol, but I'll try to see how I may be able to express my opinion on love.

I daren't say I'm talking love, I stress again, for I am unsure of what it is. That's why I claim that I am not talking love. I might be confusing you, I am not quite sure the point I am making too. But let's move on haha. 

Let me clarify things first ( the voice in my head says "move on!" but ziding replies with a curt "quiet!"). I am NOT in love. haha.

It's not that I do not want to fall in love though. I think it's quite a wonderful thing, to shower all my affections upon a girl (a most unfortunate one?) and live in a 二人世界. I think it sounds good, and it may actually be good. 

But right now I haven't found anyone and I don't wish to too, for I am far too ill-equipped to handle such a massive commitment! I'd only get attached if I am sure that I want to marry the person and spend the rest of my life with her! Well it sounds good, but I really hope that I'd be able to do it. I'm actually quite excited when I contemplate the idea of having a life partner. It's sickening that I'm this sentimental. Yuck. 

I probably wouldn't have been doing a post like this a year ago. I think I have matured a fair bit this year in junior college in the presence of girls, creatures still very much unknown to me though. 

Yes but saying that I feel that I am not matured to the extent of having a... what's that, a girlfriend you say? Yes I am ill-equipped emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally. Haha I am still very much a kid and I know it. I'd like to think that I am more mature than I think I am, but I think I am not hahahah. I still am very much bound to my impulse at times, and I think a serious, matured relationship needs to be founded upon patience, understanding, sacrifice, communication, LOVE and most importantly, God. 

So I entrust this area of my life into his hands, and hope haste on the part of my human nature does not make my heart paste. Till then, I'll taste the rest that's in life and seek to eradicate the waste that is around me. Waste, in the human form. 

It is exciting though, this life. Life is good!