Pack your room la boy

Finally getting down to packing my room since studying for the CTs messed it right round right round. Played tennis today and the stringing job on my racket is really crap. Obviously these days I've been thinking a lot and I've been oscillating between emotions - I think it really tells on cornroll doesn't it. Most of the time I like cornroll because it really is like a friend I can always turn to. Creepy and weird, but true. But obviously it doesn't beat having a heart-to-heart chat with a friend I can connect with. A decent enough substitute though. I wonder if anyone really reads through all this. I know I wouldn't if I weren't me haha. Hmm sometimes I wonder why I've succumbed to blogging. The idea makes me a little uneasy at times. There's something very artificial about online stuff. A chat online may be extensive and last for hours, but might not do anything for the relationship at all. Facebook is rubbish, but we all like it. But maybe these things might help people who aren't very good expressing themselves in person (me me me). I like it that I'm able to stop and think at the end of each sentence and look back and check on the previous one. In a face-to-face conversation this would translate to an awkward silence. Sometimes I really would like to talk to certain people, but it's hard most of the time because I fear the awkward silence and that I would bore people out. My fears are founded too, because I am sometimes just that bad at being interesting. One of the virtues being promulgated back at Cat High was to be 'interesting as a person', but I'm not sure if the school actually played its part at cultivating interesting people. How do you be interesting? I don't know, sometimes I just think I'm unfortunate that I don't really have in me a desire to fly planes and engage in gang fights. I don't know how people become so passionate in something. It's something I've never experienced before and I'd sure like to find my passion. Guess for now I'm stoned and dull and not really interested in any pursuit yet. What to do? Be a yes-man?



Sometimes I wonder too how people are schooled in the art of conversation. It seems to come by naturally for the people I know. Maybe it's how you're brought up at home. Yeah I do think that nurturing obviously plays a substantial role in shaping how good a person is at conversing and connecting with people. Well it's just not really in my family to talk about how the day's gone at dinner. My sense of humour has also been pretty much brought out outside of the home. And I guess nature has its part too, I'm by nature not a very chatty person. Since young I've always shunned the limelight and would always prefer other people do the talking. Well on a number of occasions I've found this to be pretty handy in my relationships because I seldom regret what I say. But of course I get owned because I get lazy and don't really form my own opinions on stuff.

(ok I did this before dinner and playing street soccer (again!) so I'll just end the post here)