It's not fair, and I think you're really mean

It's 4.38am now and I've been stirred awake by strange thoughts - a nightmare almost. It's like suddenly all this docility I've shown on the outside has given way to some crazy rage within, to the extent that I considered screaming into my pillow. It's frustrating when someone is mean without really meaning it or being aware of it and I don't know why tonight it suddenly weighed so heavy upon me. It's terribly wrenching, to be having such mixed opinions and feelings about a person - I really don't know what to make of it, just really wished our paths never crossed before! It just... sucks. Really does, to be at the mercy of someone's whims. I think it's just the hour of the night that has my spirit as perturbed as this. Should be fine after sleep. I really don't feel like taking the Common Tests next week and could really do with a week more of holidays just to ease my soul a little. And yeah, I don't want to see you so soon too!