Derek the Half a Beetle

So whilst Macbeth regarded sleep as something that soothed the soul and something that he longed very much for as a result of his inability to fall into slumber following the murder of Duncan (that was such a clumsy sentence! haha), sleep is something that plagues me and eats away chunks of my experiences I am meant to relish. I am not undermining here the pleasure and security that comes along with a restful shut-eye; rather, I am bemoaning the fact that it consumes me each time I succumb (sometimes knowingly, other times unwittingly) to [insert name of random sleep god/goddess/monster here].

It's not that I'm dozing off because of a lack of sleep! I do get an amount of sleep that the general student population survives on- probably more, since I hardly stay up till midnight nor have extremely tiring co-curricular activities. And I find that this constant nodding off during lessons is something that will inhibit and retard my learning experience catching up. Even fell asleep during a speech made by the GOH at Gavel Summit this morning when I was right in front and in full view of him. If he had caught sight of me (he probably did), it couldn't have pleased him, for sure. I wouldn't be pleased if I were him too!

It's funny you know, I'm all shagged and listless in the afternoons after school (today it was after Gavel Summit, even though I did nothing more than sit and eat), and I realize that the best way to overcome this fatigue is to partake in something that I would have otherwise understood to cause tiredness itself- exercise. It's funny how after a good swim, I feel more refreshed and alert than I would have felt after a long nap. Strange, but true. So yeah, just a random realization.

This probably is the way certain things in life work - where we can only get through problems by confronting them! (will think of a better phrasing in time)

And I am discovering more perspectives on life and the way the world functions as I well, live life (the whole live and learn train of thought). I've been contemplating these days what separates the good from the great, the ordinary from the extraordinary, the manure from the Liverpools. I am seeking answers, and I'm pretty sure I've found one of them. And that is the courage to step up and come to the fore; to speak up and put your views on the firing line; to be fired at and not flinch but learn. It's all an experience that would put a person in good stead and what real leaders possess.

I'm quite keen to admit that I will be the last to speak up- my eyes will dart around the room looking for someone to speak up so that the chance bypasses me. I know this shirking and crouching wouldn't put me in any leverage, but I am afraid and conscious- of the pairs of eyes that would focus on me and the ears that would scan through each word I mutter. But I know things are only as bad as I imagine them to be!

It may be too late now, since I haven't grasped the opportunities that have passed by me thus far. Yes, there will be more chances, but more is less each time an opportunity whizzes by. I considered joining ODAC, never did. I considered running for council having been nominated, given it up. It never crossed my mind to run for excos of my 2 ccas - Ultimate Frisbee and Gavel, now regretting it.

So yeah. But I think God has plans for me, for I somehow got to become towkay of my OG and CT rep of my class (precisely because I had stayed indifferent whilst hands went up for subjects representatives in class).

Hmm, for now I'd go back to the mundane, out of the musing, into Othello.