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Where I am is who I am!

The levels of comfort I experience in different arenas are truly varying. Friday will not be comfortable! It is just a little saddening that the image of the 1A I was acquainted with has deviated from my initial optimistic and hopeful cheerily painted picture early in J1. It is through no one's fault though... just the fault of differing foci (plural of focus?) and ambitions. And those are primary!

Things are shaping up to be pretty odd... not!

This Youth for Christ stint will perhaps be one of the better things that will happen to me in life, am enjoying each long day as it comes (7.20am and I'm up!). Am delighting and growing in very nice company, a group of people whom I really admire/trust/respect. Army experience that will come (when, I'm not sure yet) will be oh so very different, but will just have to take it as it comes. Am tired, this is my update for the month. ^^

I've generally been in very high spirits in the 2010 that's past thus far, and it's been the newest year that I've been through up to this point - in the sense that I've had the most number of fresh experiences in the month of Jan that's past. (That's horribly worded but well...)

I am lazy to elaborate on these experiences because my mind is numbing hehe...

Anyway, please pray for the sustenance of my energy, health and enthusiasm for the next 7 wks. I also thank God for sparing me from a lot of possible hurt. I am so very grateful that he has gone ahead of me to spare my straw heart from being razed! Thank you Lord!

Will update again in Feb!

To distance before you discern

I will admit I have had the most negative thoughts about people recently. I have come to dislike and to hate people with whom I have had contact in the weeks that have passed during the holidays. A good few of these people are people I have used to have a positive sentiment towards. It is unfortunate, I cannot help but experience an overbearing sense of negativity towards these people. Among these people are those I find excessively proud, guys who keep hitting on girls, people who seek to exclude others, people who think themselves sophisticated, and unappreciative people. These people, I find hard to like. Sigh. Of course I'd rather like these people, but it's so hard. I am not sure if I am acting out of contempt. Whatever it is, it is a sentiment that sticks and sticks hard for now - how to get rid of it?

There have been other things going through my mind too. Church is now a refuge!

Been long time

Long time since I've exposed myself on cornroll, not that I haven't had anything to purge out of my system (yes, unfortunately thoughts I wish to share are usually more of the negative kind), but I just haven't had the opportunity to well, go to blogger.com. Ah, so here I am back on a lazy Monday afternoon, with really nothing else better to do. It's 5pm now, I've got an hour to excrete my verbal stools before I head downstairs to play pool with a neighbour. Day of rest today, first real day of my hols actually that feels like a holi-day, because of the sheer absence of activity and the lounging around I associate with holidays that has marked the day (which started proper at around 12pm by the way heh).



Will be away from Wednesday till Christmas for most of the days, because I have signed up for 2 church camps in my church to while away the time... in more fruitful manners and pursuits. To facilitate the ease of the passing of the holi-days too. In fact I just came back on Saturday from another church's youth camp hehe. What a way to spend a month! Does take a toll though, which is why I'm trying my best to rest the best I can. Yesterday's catching of the unfortunate match at Clarke Quay wasn't good for rest and wasn't good for the easing of the Liverpool fan's mind too. =(



December looks to be spent and spent well already, the months ahead will be well spent - that is a resolve on my part because I have (in no small extent due to Gatsby) sought to improve myself during these months of freedom. Self-improvement all the way! lol. I plan to...



1) Read

2) Talk to beings

3) Exercise

4) Perhaps work



I've finally got the time to care! About people yes, about issues yes, and most of all about my soul! Time to return to a steady and close relationship with God and spend days reading His word! So important! Obviously the A Levels have not been kind to me in this aspect ("it's robbed me of many things!")



(Have actually got a good mind to shadow a church worker/pastor around for some time, but don't know who.)

I've got

a Life is Good shirt with the words "Good Vibes are Contagious" across. Wonderful shirt, gotta wear it more often!

To hover in sight

I'm 7/9 done with my A levels, and yet I'm still not quite convinced I'm actually in the midst of my A levels?? It's hard to believe for me really, that I'm actually doing my A levels, JC has passed so fast. Ah, kinda expected it to pass this fast, but was never sure how to react to its passing by. Guess I'm reacting now... and I think it's a rather whateva kinda response haha, I'm so looking forward to post-As, December in particular. I'll be away for most of December I reckon hehe, bye bye most of the world I'm used to. Can't wait to play footy at Aitong court too. And have gotta get back to a more recognisable shape too (i.e. erm, try not to have my waistline fulfil the pai x diameter formula). Lotsa soccer should settle that hehe.

Ah, and I'm also fully expecting the anti-climatic feeling that awaits right after my last paper next Wed...

Things that matter

Glad that things that matter were touched upon today. Very glad, because these things matter. Yet it is still the things that do not matter as much that remain the scorpions in my mind, and I cannot help but feel a tad affected by these things that do not matter as much. I had a previous unpublished post that was far more unambiguous but fortunately my laptop ran out of battery before I could publish something to be rather embarrassed about. The weather's been horrible, the days passable...

The 'R' word

So,

not in an unexpected manner the prelims are going as fast as they have come. Going, not gone, but going and going fast and they will be gone in a matter of days which will come and go and be gone in a matter of days - which is fast. I am now examining the Heart of Darkness in greater detail, meaning I will do more than read it lying down on the sofa/bed. Ah, Marlow and his musings. Figure Conrad had much fun penning all his cheem-ness down and looking at it in self-congratulatory glee at the end of it. Now Literature students like me have got to trudge through (or savour?) his verbal excretions (or genius?), to varying degrees of cluelessness (or relating to?). Seriously now, Joseph.
Hmm but you do write pretty well.

So,

=(

Sweaty palms + 3 hrs of writing = :(

Can't believe it... my forearm this afternoon was really feeling the effects of probably the most writing I've done in my life in a week. You need more than finger muscles! And I think I might need an overgrip for my pen haha... sigh, econs tomorrow and then to celebrate Hari Raya and then Lit then Math then a bit of celebration next wednesday!

O.O

Currently readying my H3 paper for submission. Have been at it for couple of hours, albeit without much fruition. Quite painful trying to sort out a 3.5k word essay. At this point in my life I think it is about as far as I can be streteched intellectually...

Anyway, first two papers, arguably the two that need least preparation, have come and gone. Week of hols ahead will be painful... ouch ouch ouch.

YP outing tomorrow, some EPL, church on Sunday. Trying to limit myself to these distractions through the hols hehe.

Toodles! (lol i think this is the funniest way to ciao... and gayest too.)

Prelims start tomorrow!

Could very well have been J1 CT1 tomorrow!