So-fish-ticated

Be simpler, naiver la. Why so fishticated?

You'd be an idiot to not be able to tell!

I'm not... not that much of an idiot! The nature of my interactions with people has changed since Jan last year and I'd be the first to acknowledge that. I wish for consistency. I think it will happen later in life. Not tomorrow! Not the week after... maybe after NS, after uni, after marriage? When I've sorted and figured out myself a little more. Then my relationships will be consistent. I look forward to that day, but life may get a wee bit boring. But there's gotta be more to life/we were meant to live for so much more/there's so much more worth living for/life doesn't stop there/that's not all to life.

For now I'm pondering the point of efficiency in life...

and for now inefficiency will rear its ugly (or pleasant-looking I'm not sure yet) head.


[edit]
well if we weren't efficient we would

Childism

Greetings.

About 3 and a half hours ago I was thumbing through albums of Pokemon cards, opening up boxes of flag erasers and poring through some rubbish I wrote when I was in primary school. Yes, poring through! Because I was really rather fascinated with the amount of imagination I used to have. Stuff like some comic series called 'Patamon' I had come up with and notes I used to write to my group mates when I was group leader haha (I don't know why I never gave them out). The notes kinda went like this:

"Dear Jason, you've been a gr.....eat group friend. PS: Pls do your duty. Derek. "

Then there was the non-digitalized FM I used to 'play'. Basically I just wrote out my squad and made transfers and all. Surprisingly I did the accounts of the club too. Oh, the name of the club I used to manage was "Dreamz Unlimited", or DUFC. Prior to being knighted and landing the job at Cloudy Park (DUFC's homeground), I was Gerard Houllier's successor at LFC and I sold Carragher for 2mil quid to Blackburn in my first season. Fascinating stuff. Reckon I did all these rubbish when I was p4 or something. And then there was a time when I had the option of letting my players rest for three days in Mauritius but I turned it down because it was too expensive. Oh, and I actually had to pay my shirt sponsor Umbro for the kits - it was something like 20mil a season. In my time at DUFC I only lost to Chelsea because of an 88th minute Hasselbaink penalty.

My line-up was something like Seaman, Neville, Henchoz, Ferdinand, Hyypia, Beckham, Vieira, Rivaldo, Figo, v.Nistelrooy and Solksjaer. Doesn't make much tactical sense... but there you go. Oh kay, I've got to go do my econs essay now.

When the senses abandon their defences

Sin creeps in...

and creeps in easily too, for we are creatures of much sensuality and little sensibility!

Week in Preview

Week's got off to a good enough start. Work looms, but with a easy, unloaded soul, things will go just fine.

Laidback

Unfortunately industry doesn't quite come easily to me. Or come easier, maybe, because I don't think anyone quite fancies hardwork. Had a good chat with Marvin today over lunch, and I know my being all slack and unproductive isn't quite ideal for a Christian. I'd kinda known it isn't the best testament for the Lord all this time, just needed someone to affirm and make explicit the spiritual failings of a languid lifestyle. So thanks Marvin. I will strive to make each day as fruitful as I possibly can from now.

Yet there remains a fine line drawn between the focus on things spiritual and things earthly. I'm not too sure if there should be a 50-50 split between the importance of these two (which translates also to the allocation of time to each). I'd tend to think that things spiritual remain of utmost importance, but in no way should earthly responsibilities be slighted. I think I'll leave it to my discernment, which I pray that God will grant me!

Keep rolling

So cornroll once again becomes my outlet and where I am most comfortable, sadly. Am bound very much to my nature and I sometimes do things I don't want to do and don't do things I want to do. These days I have been impatient, judgmental, cynical, resigned and not the person I want to be! Haven't exactly been emanating the best of vibes, unfortunately. It eats at me somehow and it's a downward spiral I'm afraid. It's becoming easier to see how people slip into certain down periods in their lives (not using the big D word here haha) - not good. Saturday, fellowship, laughter and peace can't come quick enough!!!!

Just a little

A Levels aren't that far away now, hope they come soon and then I'll be over and done with JC! And aiya, sometimes I don't like finding out more about people because it bursts the bubble around them. Just a little saddening... disappointing. I'm feeling all disillusioned with the world now haha. People just suck. Everyone. Everyone sucks, including me. lol. Wish I really could just laugh this off... but I really do mean it. I need to see the good in people soon!

POTO

Used to like this song and delight in what wit it had when I was in primary school. Still floats my boat haha, and I think I can still mouth the lyrics (almost!).

(If you get bored with the first 7 mins... the last 3 mins are pretty awesome to listen to.)

LOL (and I really mean it!)

"The CH gentlemen is a gracious lad,
Responsible in all we say and do.
Respectful to everyone we meet,
We greet everyone with a smile and a bow.

We dress very smartly and we play far,
We will preserve and fight to the end.
We produce work of high quality,
Yes we are the CH gentlemen."


Was some Catholic High jingle a couple of years back.

Fortunately and understandably, it didn't quite catch on. I think the "smile and a bow" part is hi-hi-hilarious. Imagine if I really followed strictly the lyrics - I would be a... freak.

Ah, but Catholic High, there've been moments. There have been, but not many I'm particularly fond of though. Still, a bit of me remains in 9, Bishan Street 22.

My term paper conclusion

To conclude, Singapore is champion of the world.

These things I like

On another note, I've lost a little faith in human relationships and their ability to last, for in all of us lies a degree of intransigence and self-righteousness. Which is why the prospect of a life partner seems a wee bit daunting. And lol, this is not a lame cooked-up excuse for an unwillingness to commit in future (which I hope doesn't happen). Life in the meantime, remains good.

Zonal mucking

Haven't for a long time felt as comfortable as I was socially during dinner on Saturday. Most times I feel incongruent but a happy listener haha.

It's probably been the most unproductive week of the year I've just had, sorry my sentence structures are oddly formed. My SEA Hist term paper's rather hastily put together too. Next week can only be more productive I hope.

Sock her

(Perhaps not the most civil of titles, but plain old Soccer is a little boring.)

Ah, soccer soccer soccer. Truly the beautiful game (perhaps beach volleyball/women's tennis/water polo fans might have issues with this statement?). Have to say that it is indeed one of the few passions in my life. Has to be rather powerful, this sport, if it is able to draw as much of a response it has from me. I'm a rather fervent Liverpool fan (you might have guessed) and I've been itching to play soccer these days.

Finally got down to a kickabout this afternoon with Jian Ying, Woo Sheng, Tom, Gabriel Ng, Carvin and a few others. Wasn't the most competitive game (especially when we were playing on the 'D' next to the field where the soccer guys were training!) but it was fun enough. My finishing was better than usual today (not saying much haha) and I think I've gotten a little more confident on the ball now. I'd play small 5-a-side games anytime over field soccer, because I sorely lack pace haha.

Been wasting lotsa time this week, studying/revision has been far from hitting top gear heh. The library's DVD collection is awesome by the way - what better way is there to laze an afternoon away than lounging around catching movies. Am well and truly a slacker haha, I need to channel my energies somewhere - and I think I know where!

[edit] lol was cutting my nails and I just realised the nail on my fourth toe of my right foot is badly cracked through the middle horizontally across. Could come off anytime soon... afternoon PE tmr? hehehe cool

What now?

Sigh, today the wind's been taken out of my sails a little. Work threatens to overwhelm this term (which really only really starts now) and it becomes ever harder to set my sights on things eternal. The prospects of and the content taught in Psychology seem to be a little dodgy too, some things I've found out upon further sleuthing about. And I met yet another taxi uncle today who shared more or less the same views on life as... the previous taxi uncle I chatted with.

Probability is really tough too. Now things start to swirl a bit and my mind is clouded. To trawl through SEA hist readings would be draining too. Such academic rigour, my brain chokes and sputters... and sputters and chokes. Whine sob whine sob... I irritate I know haha. Can be quite a moaner at times.

Oh and RJ won both water polo titles, that's a good thing. kjianying scored two goals which I missed (which probably didn't mean much since they probably weren't too spectacular =p). Good on ya and let's hope Arsenal progress to the semis of the Champs Lg and annhilate manure.

Don't know why I am so devoid of spark and life right now. So resigned, inertia-ed and tired and sian. I think the weekend was too good!

A chance questioning

"Hi, how do you feel about being an earthling?"

"Huh? Well I guess it beats being a martian... or maybe not! I don't know, what are the other options?"

"Ah, you see, you could be set free from this body you know."

"LOL LOL, sure. An out-of-body experience you mean?"

"Hmm not quite out-of-body... more... out-of-the-world experience."

"LOL LOL so I should drop by NASA and sign up for a package tour or sth eh."

"Yeah you could do that, guess that counts as an out-of-the-world experience too. I've always wanted to be an astronaut actually. But thing is, you've gotta descend back on earth, which kinda sucks. And as for out-of-body experiences... you've got to return back to the body too what."

"So... your point is? LOL LOL you are damn weird."

"My point is that you could spend eternity joyful and content. You could be with the One you love the dearest, and for forever too. Now imagine being taken away from all that joy and peace, the heavenly riches stripped."


That's what Jesus Christ did, he had all the comforts that heaven contained stripped from him at one fell swoop. Then he suffered pains unimaginable, and all for us too. And Good Friday commemorates the death of Jesus on the cross, the day he stopped being well, an earthling.

Who do you want to associate yourself with and why?

I wouldst if I couldst

sleep early!

Among many other "I wouldst if I couldst" situations...

With Man

Pretty decent day today, with meaningful interaction with fellow earthlings. A load of work awaits...

by the way, what do you do with a gift that lies un-given? Well a good first thing to do would be to ignore the voices in your head that whisper "loser... loser..."!

Squeaky bum time

Meaning
The tense, final stages of a competition.

Origin
This curious phrase emerged in the UK during the final stages of the 2003 Premiership football league, when arch-rivals Arsenal and Manchester United were both in contention to win the league. The coinage is commonly attributed to United's manager Sir Alex Ferguson and is often cited as an example of the notorious 'mind-games' indulged in by him and his opposing manager, Arsene Wenger. The allusion is, of course, to the sound made by squirming in one's seat as one's team's fortunes wax and wane.



Squeaky bum time indeed for Fergi and his co. of devious minions, because Liverpool have edged their butts ahead of manure. 1-1 against Villa at HT, come on you Villans!

If only everyone was a little naive...

if only?

There is a hope so sure

So Liverpool have hit the woodwork 4 times in the first half against Fulham at Craven Cottage. But do I really care?

Well certainly it is good to have something I'm passionate about. But Liverpool Football Club is for fun, and doesn't matter as much as before or I had once thought.

That being said, the second half should be interesting and Pool have really got to score!

Recently I've been thinking

And talking a little more than usual, and about things that matter too. It does things for me, but that is not all. The end that matters really, but for now I've got to contend with responsibilities and my growing to-do list. This week has been far too unproductive. Have gotten back complete results for History and Economics. Am fairly contented with my History grades and a tad disappointed with my Economics grades, but not appalled no, because my econz suckz. Lit would prove to be quite a disaster, Math would be so-so and I don't know how GP would be. I sound like I can tell the future but I can't, I'm only guesstimating. Anyway, the encounter and interaction I've been waiting for happened a little today, and I am glad I gave up about an hour of my time to listen. Time well spent, now to earn it back!

And I talked to Jian Ying a bit yesterday on msn (he might read this). Went from talking about the absolutely ridiculous to the less ridiculous but still ridiculous subjects. I have since gotten a clearer idea on these darned affections I have. A clearer idea of what to do with them actually - throw them out the window (for now)!

From where I come from

I know I will get owned in my testimonials/recommendations and I'm making no bones about it. It's a fact that most people never get to know who I am (including me?). Again, I wonder what I would be in a different environment - less constrained perhaps? It's just so hard connecting with most people in my area, what more people from a far far away land (or people who seem to be)? Maybe studying abroad might not be so wise afterall, and after this, not so plausible at all. Where am I comfortable then?

[edit]
Ah, I think I might know. (and mind you this edit is NOT in reference to the previous post please!)

Hmmm

The nature of the content in this post will be very shocking indeed, brace yourself.














Sometimes when I stare out the window of the 40th floor I have the incontrollable urge to fling myself off the building, but I live on the second floor...



Sometimes when I see a noose I have the urge to have it round my neck, but how do you knot a noose?



Sometimes when I see a waterbody I want to see how long I can hold my breath in it, but I'm shy to strip down to my shorts...



Sometimes when I cross the road I wonder what it is like to be hit by a car, but most times I use the pedestrian crossing...



Sometimes I go to sleep hoping I won't wake up, but my alarm wakes me up with the Ponyo theme song...



Sometimes I read my History notes and wonder if a papercut can slit my throat, but its the content that's more likely to kill...



Sometimes I attend a Math lecture so boring I want to eat my Math Set 4 and choke to death on it, but I want to live to eat Lum and Chan's...



























Sometimes I fib a little on the 1st of April, and I wish I could have seen your expression/s!

*Hope you dint read this Koo, would have been a double whammy hohoho!


Sigh, the things I do