Weird!

Who am I...

Day

Once again a day of different Dereks.

Day got better as it wore on - had good fellowship with Joel, Jordan, Marcus and James over tze char dinner at S-11. Was actually talking quite a bit, comfortably and at ease and free and without inhibitions and being more of myself and was talking at a more audible volume too. Happy birthday James! Been a long time since I've had tze char, was rather decent but actually found it very much to be just over-charged mixed vegetable rice. Then we proceeded to the J8 basement to have some snow ice (or snow joe, if you're reading this kartiko), which was really quite good actually. Actually preferred the durian over the mango which was strange... because the durian was pleasant and not as sweet as the mango. Then I had walnut paste which was kinda strange... food was good, and the conversations made were a good soothing balm to the end of a week full of discomfort, unease and quiet.

Dinner was a relief, for I was rather ill at ease in the day at school.

Tomorrow might be a better day, dinner with Bryan Choo sounds good, I haven't seen him for a while. But rehearsals in the afternoon might just about spell awkwardness, hopefully Kartik would be there.

Queer

It's funny, how varied the effect of words that come out from different people. A moment ago I was contemplating my identity crisis, now I flutter a little. And now to conclude my term paper...

On another (post-it) note, I fear the sun has done its damage (and what a sun too!) and I am effectively feeling the first few pre-conditions of a great illness due to take its toll. I might have to rule myself out for tomorrow's Physical Education lesson. With great regret and sadness I am struck. Woe, woe, woe. Ah, the searing pain of the mere entertainment of the possibility of missing out on Phys Ed!


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Sad... =D















Sad... =De

Sad... =Der

Sad... =Dere

Sad... =Derek








^^

Song of the Tay

"Oh give me a home,
where the buffalo roam...
and the deer and the antelope play..."



Song that just popped into my head. Odd fellow, the person who wrote this song.

WAH TERM PAPER SIA

There is a relief and a gratification when I verbalize the exclamation overhead. Singlish just appeals to me very much at certain junctures. I should use it more often, just because it brings with it an immense relaxation and is sorta therapeutic. Talk cock, sing song, play mahjong!

To harbour a thought

is the furthest I would go, for anything beyond that would be foolish and maybe, perhaps and probably futile.

On another note, I don't know why I tire. It is for no good reason, and again I am reminded of my limitations and frailties. Gotta level up... soon.

For now I will angst over efiowngwu ew0ih term paper.

The noodles at stall 1 is rather decent la.

Is there a tumour in your humour, are there bags under your eyes?

Yep...

Buggles?

Wee bit scary... funny though haha!

Band

Here's The Feeling with their take on Video Killed the Radio Star. Perhaps the only band I'd risk forking out a substantial amount of cash on to catch live. There's the Kaiser Chiefs and Coldplay coming to town, but I just don't quite feel like splurging on these bands (besides, Coldplay's happening right on the day of our March CTs). Jason Mraz might have been appealing, but tix are out of sale. There's Duffy who's coming too, which would have been an interesting act to catch, but I fear that an hour or more of her might be a fair bit creepy.

Happy Valentine's Day you lovebirds out there!

Cleopatra, Joan of Arc or Aphrodite

She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother-er-er!


Ah, so it's Valentine's Day in a minute's time. Will spend most of the day at Bethesda Hall DW followed by cell group at my own church in the evening... then, then, then... I will go to sleep! Just had my first period of proper study this year, I'm thinking I would have more of such periods to come. Week ended off a-o-kay, I thank God for his loving kindness seen each day in each one of you. My heart flutters, because I am content with my lot. Hot date? Pffftt. A prune perhaps.

To be affected

Unfortunately today had to be the most unpleasant day, and my heart sank rather heavy.

However, it was nice having the oteamers back in class, and GP was lively once again.

Then it went downhill from there, and it's been some time since I've felt anger. But today I felt it and no it wasn't quite pleasant experiencing this feeling that had almost been unfamiliar to me. But human nature reared its ugly head and it was just so, so unpleasant being in the midst of all of it. Inevitably horrid thoughts crossed my head but out came a meek smile and a hot flush. Had to cool off on the rooftop, at least I knew old JC would be there for me. But my self quivers and quakes still, as it has been certain periods - more so today. It is just a little disconcerting that it is in our nature to prize things that matter less I guess.


Day to forget.

I will not boast in anything - no gifts, no power, no
wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ - his death, and
resurrection

Song of the Tay

She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound
But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen Yeah, yeah


(Chorus): 'Cause she's so high... High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high...


Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high...
High above me
First class and fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything
What could a guy like me Ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be
Why should I even bother?


(Repeat Chorus)
She comes to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal
But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah

(Repeat Chorus)

To be guzzled by Gosling's Everton...

Fortunately I did not sacrifice my sleep time for this morning's FA Cup tie at Goodison... had no idea the match was on. So it turned out quite a disaster for the Merseyside team in red - Gerrard hobbling off on 16 mins, Lucas being sent off, and a 118th minute Dan Gosling deflected goal breaking the hearts of Liverpudlians all over the world.

Perhaps the price imposed by footballing fate for Lampard's undeserved sending off?

A price LFC to pay willingly, if it means greater focus on the Premier League title and clinching it in May, for Rafa didn't think it was the 20 million quid spent on Keane (or squandered, or 8 million) that would bring the title back to Anfield.

Perhaps Robbie would have something to say about that come the last day of the season? Afterall, he's been quiet in red all season, both on and off the field.


And tomorrow we Take 5. Truth be told, and as Rolly pointed out some time ago, it's only been a few weeks into term and perhaps we don't quite require a break as of yet. But I like days like this, days that don't require much thought. Think Celine and her team would have done/would do a good job, and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'm looking forward to spending my last Take 5 (woah hoho) with my classmates too, the 8 of them left. The week's been good and it has gone by quick as with most weeks. I think cycling would be good for my quads, and good for a better standing broad jump distance. I really should be(come) lighter, but the canteen and the potato chips and the tim tams and the remaining CNY goodies say no.


Well it's been a year and a month a few days into RJ, and in that time many things have happened (haha duh). Well obviously there's been the change of name for the school (but I wouldn't quite fancy myself an RI boy thank you very much. Can't imagine what the girls might be thinking...) , but many other things have happened too. Things like maturing, growing up, maturing, growing up, maturing and more growing up. Have grown a mighty lot (but not in height sigh) in the past 13 months, and I'm not quite sure what to do now. Sometimes I want to retard my growth, most times actually, the rest of the time I'm not sure. Just don't quite fancy really living a life on earth. I would have been content just living through my childhood and then burrowing away to play with rabbits, but yeah now that adulthood comes along (wait it doesn't just come along, it rushes towards you and grabs you by the scruff of your neck) I haven't got much choice have I...


Orientation (or O'tiero) is happening in school right now. Today as my amputated class and I steathily assaulted the MPH to bombard Koo Zheng Xuan with 18 sticks of nuggets on 6 sticks of satay sticks I noticed the J1 batch doing their batch dance. It felt rather queer watching them engage in their "dance", and then thoughts of the "self" just went through my head. Okay, "self-indulgence". An idea I'd been thinking about since Kung mentioned homecoming day as being "self-indulgent". It'd felt okay doing the batch dance while I was doing it last year at T'sparanza, but now my hairs almost stood on end watching juniors do it. Perhaps I was jealous at the fun they were having, but I think it was more due to the guilt of having to see myself in them.

There is definitely a self-indugent aspect of cornroll, and I quite hate it actually. Have considered deleting my blog a couple of times. I don't know why I blog actually. It used to be because I was socially inadept and needed people to see my thoughts because they couldn't hear them. To some extent it has been this way and will be this way, because not all my thoughts I will express verbally. I don't usually, actually. And it's not like I'm a very opinionated person anyway, because I don't think about things that don't matter to me.


Recently I've become more aware of my flaws. Maybe God wants to tell me something. I know I have been drifting a little away now that school has started, and from the steady liner I am overboard. But God has been merciful, because he's had on me a lifejacket, and has thrown a life buoy. Now he reels me back in slowly, and I am grateful. I have been made aware of the many flaws I possess and I know that by my strength alone I am nothing in the presence of his holiness. But it is in my weaknesses that I am strong - strong through the might of an all-knowing, fear-inducing God.


Now Liverpool's loss, my D+ in my lit essay, being dull and sucking at Math seem like nothing.

Kids say the darndest things... or not

"When I grow up, I want to be a rich and famous doctor because I like helping people,"

- the voice of the deluded child (dated 21/02/1965), now a social worker.


"I don't want to grow up,"

- the voice of the perennial child (dated 30/03/1970), currently 45 years of age and 150 centimetres tall.



Most times things don't work out the way we want them to, but does it matter?


To focus on that which is unseen and of the eternal, I'm trying!

Word of the Tay

So-fish-ticated.

No longer keen on Keane

(lol sry cheap pun but I couldn't help it. besides, it's relevant. not that it reflects my sentiment though - Rafa's perhaps)

Looks like Robbie's adventure ends here... or rather, at the 5min farewell cameo at Wigan. A pity really, there's so much the man can do. Just not at Liverpool, just not his luck... just not fortunate to have the favour of the manager upon him.

To have promised so much and to have meagre deliveries... a plot that has made many a story hasn't it!


Meanwhile, schoolwork and the sort inundates. Head remains above the rushing torrents ... for now. A life out of school, now that's hard. But possible. But possible. Gotta ask again, "What's FIRST?"

Fastrated

I am thoroughly frustrated through and through because the two things I have been searching for -

1) My frisbee, and
2) My economics textbook


have eluded me the way the league title has Liverpool for 18 years. GRAH... grating frustration I want to hit something oh no but my rabbit looks at me with those eyes

Heartburn

Ooo I think I might have just got a hint of what I think a heartburn is... after doing 4 (YES!) chinups (ok fine, maybe 3.5). Scary. Can't imagine what the heartburn that doesn't result from physical exertion feels like. Still, my heart lies in wait like a stack of hay. Hopefully no one will ever torch it down.

When indiscipline creeps in

Are Arsenal a side on the decline? 60mins gone at the Emirates, and 0-0 against West Ham. They do lack the incisive final ball. It is 12.22am, needa sleep soon! Next wk would be interesting with 9 in class. Hmm, who would I hang around with haha.

OH AND IT IS THE LOVELY MONTH OF FEBRUARY!