Encounter

So I managed to catch my favourite player Xabi Alonso at VJC (should've gone there!) last Friday, thanks to Tze Ern and his mum. Was as close as an arm-length's away haha. And Kenny Dalglish was there too. O.O
It was crazy. I think Liverpool Football Club can have me running around chasing. I felt a little embarrassed really. But first time so star struck sia. I'm afraid the photos are a bit blur. But well, I don't have a pro camera, and I don't know how to use one anw.

Edwin here's ur pic with Jamie Reeves you were dying to take.

Second from right - Glen Johnson???

Alonso.. whatever u can make of him. My reflection - see my gaping expression

!!!!!

Prelims

Well, the number of days to the prelims flash by. Will really have to start proper study and making good use of time... after this weekend, after Liverpool hehe. ^^

I've been rather fond of using smilies lately. Hope it's not to make up for any lack of real smiling. Nope, don't think so la. Hope to catch Pool players at close proximity at VJC tomorrow! ^^

Gotta report to school at 7.40am tomorrow! 6/21 of 1A will be in school tomorrow! =S

Just sent my H3 to Lynette Lim, hope it's fine! ^^

Stomach feels a tad uncomfortable at the moment! =S

I will go jogging soon! ^^

To fit (better) into my school pants! =S

To sleep now! ^^

Only to wake up so early tmr! =S

6 people, should be nice and cozy in the raffles training rooms! ^^

raffles training rooms? =S

r-a-f-f-l-e-s! ^^

off i go now

Sh*t happens! or Shh... it happens.

Rabbits are very cute when they have a sneezing fit. Anyway just got back from a short run (long by my stamina's standards). It was a run/walk really, and my legs still feel rather pummeled by the asphalt. The muscle region around my shin on my left leg took it especially hard. Well my Asics are more than a couple of years old, time for a new pair of running shoes perhaps. Ran to and along the jogging route around/in the IMH, somehow today the inhabitants were less friendly than usual (that is, they didn't wave (back) at me) The route was pleasant enough, as always, but the jog was at times painful and I probably ran at the pace of a middle-aged woman. It is over nonetheless, and I should fit that bit better into my pants now.

Ill

Quite a few people in class have been feeling ill... get well soon everyone! I don't know why, but I'm still feeling ill at ease at times. So odd. Awkward awkward awkward. It's really uncomfortable being so uncomfortable! It's like fighting off sleep hehehe. It was better after school when I met up with Joel, Brandon, Uncle Andrew and Joel's friend from Youth for Christ, Wai Ling. I just think I've got a lot to get off my head right now. Obviously I'm already looking forward to the weekend (LIVERPOOL!). I don't hate school, because there's still that lilt here and there, and those moments are nice. But I'm feeling rather disjointed. It's ultimately tolerable though, and I might well be making a deal out of nothing. I might well be *gasp* whining. These 4-5 months will pass soon enough and soon I'll be whining about missing JC lol. Stupid me.

Can it be that I should gain?

And can it be that I should gain
an interest in the Savior's blood!
Died he for me? who caused his pain!
For me? who him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
fast bound in sin and nature's night;
thine eye diffused a quickening ray;
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
my chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed thee.


Take a listen!

At what price?

I've been rather rudely stirred from my sleep by a phonecall from an unfamiliar number. At 4 am. Made the oh-so-unwise albeit unconscious decision to pick it up. So turns out that my friend's taking part/cheating in this NUS race and asked me to google one of the clues he got. So I found it for him and my sleep's been severely disrupted. I could have cursed at him and I was tempted of course, that... boy. Did not help that he wasn't the most appreciative - maybe he was too caught up in the race. Ah, but well. Yes, you don't have to try very hard to exploit me... but yes of course I know when I've been, of course I know. And I feel about it, of course I do.

This is crazy

Fridays are crazy I finished at like 10am today. Crazy thoughts run through my head, thoughts inapt at this time of the year. You really can't help what you think eh, and restraint is key.

Oh I can't wait for the A Levels to be over. For now all I can do is sing in my chains eh. And H3 of course, I'm beginning to get a hold of my essay yahoo!

Mood: =D


I WILL FINISH MY H3 TODAY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO PAY LIBRARY FINES!!!! DEPOLITICIZATION OF CHINESE STUDENTS, LET'S GO!

Happy is the dwarf named Happy

Is happiness a state of mind? Is the dwarf Happy (is there one actually lol) happy because he is Happy? I think emotions are to a large degree self-imposed, sometimes we just have to snap out of negative emotions. Unless of course serious stuff happens to you. But generally it is snapoutofitable.

Ok, acting cheem and preaching aside, I miss PE. PE has been my favourite lesson (lesson?) through all my schooling life. Seems like I just had my last ever Phys. Ed lesson last week. Well I just like getting out of the classroom and being free to play. I'm okay at sports so I enjoy it a fair bit. I enjoy most sports.

Watched Harry Podder and the Bloody Prince today at GV Bishan. It was poor, it was so slow-moving and the ending was so abrupt. Not very funny too, and I felt that there was too much emphasis on teenage romance rubbish. Yeah I do know that Podder's all grown up and curious now, but about half the movie's dedicated to teenage romance rubbish. The other half was just weird Golems crawling onto an island of crystal blocks (whatever) to scare poor Podder until Dumblebeeyore decides to stop faking to sleep and performs some awesome kickass spell to own these Golems. Then Dumbeeyore dies at Hogwarts and it's so sad. In between Tze Ern decides to jump in fright. Then up pop the credits and there's a collective groan in the cinema (making this up). And I just think Podder and his friends have turned out kinda strange-looking too ('cept Hermuinee who pretty much still has her 12 year old face). Dragon Malfunction in particular. Ronweaser's not too far off. Podder has this vibe that makes me shift uncomfortably in my seat and causes my Twisties to taste like muruku. Oh and the screen is like set to 2% brightness for most of the movie so I felt like there were Dementors in the cinema. Oh and Several Snapple has put on weight and Arthurweaser has lost weight... at least since Chamber of Secrets (on FIVE!). And McGonadagalldeagall looks like she's 203 hehe. And the young Tom Marvellous Ridiculous looks like a girl! Okay I just don't like the movie a lot. (my seven dollars! my two and a half hours!)

Massively disappointing, and Ice Age 3 is movie of the month hands down. Blockbusters have been seriously poor, waste my time and money only. They think blockbuster a lot of money so no need direct properly just put more CGI (which admittedly is quite cool). Next blockbuster is my H3 essay hope it does not fall flat like TransPodders The Fallen Prince of Wenpi Doom.

Ok you can tell I'm a bit high in this post it is 12.30am now. To sleep then.



lol the lyrics of this song are quite stupid i only put it up for its title. jesse mccartney is eight this year haha.

Liverpool's Third kit 09/10

Class ^^ The long-sleeved version is nicer. Obviously won't buy it, since pool will probably use it like, twice in the season.

Dinner

Ok I know I'm really flooding cornroll with updates but I think I'm (more than?) making up for the little chatter I usually amass in a day. I don't know, I just feel like expressing me thoughts somewhere. Well I reckon I wouldn't be here on Friday, since I would probably be returning home late, having had some chat over dinner. Yep that's right I've got myself a dinner date and I am looking forward to it. Well it's a meeting up with five older guys (20+ y.o) from Depot Walk - not quite a hot date. I'm thinking I will probably feel very old while I'm in their company, yet also rather young... like a um, fledgling. Okay pointless post but I don't know, it's been some time since I've had a good chat over a meal. Hmm slightly more than a week, but I do enjoy such meals a fair bit, so they don't always seem enough. Strange as it seems, strange as it seems.

Gangster

Who's bad?

Well it may seem a wee bit out of character, but sometimes I like to imagine myself as a gangleader and a man's man (not in a homosexual way but an alphamale sorta way please, ty). That's why sometimes I tell people that I actually am a ringleader of a highly successful, dangerous, illegal syndicate underground. Usually they don't believe me. It's false, of course, but I do sometimes wonder what life is like on the unconventional, free-wheeling (and dealing), illicit side.

Right, sometimes I wonder what it's like to be just BAD-ASS. ^.^

Soul you sail away into a grey sky morning

"When it comes to people I tend to look at them as souls. You graft off the skin and chip away at the bones, and the soul is there. You talk words of love, and the soul smiles. You hurl hurting insults, and the soul is pained - not the body. When you connect with someone in a conversation, you speak to the soul - not the body. And when the body falters and its functions halt... that's why I want to see people as souls."

To etch

There are certain moments in life you'd think you will never ever forget. Well a moment like this occured towards the end of the year when I was 12, at my grandfather's funeral, when we sang the hymn "Christ Liveth in Me". It doesn't have the most captivating tune and the lyrics are simple, but somehow I know I will never forget this song and the occasion it has come to represent.

Here's the chorus:

Christ liveth in me,
Christ liveth in me;
Oh! what a salvation this,
That Christ liveth in me.

Okay...

I'm raising an eyebrow myself over the queerness of this post (even by cornroll standards) but I think I might have finally understood what my sister meant when she said that I had lost my chin through the hols. See, these are two pictures taken back in the times when I had a chin.

Ok you can tell I really don't want to go to sleep

My little world

My feet hurt. There's the blisters and a bit of aching and creaking and funny twitching of ligaments here and there. Played a tad too much today heh, so the room remains unpacked and the H3 not really touched. Fridays look to be extremely slacky... I finish at 10.15am or something, every week too! So today some of our class headed to the Kopitiam at Thomson Plaza for brunch. After that Kartik and I headed to the RI courts to play a bit of tennis. Well I've just returned from hanging out a bit at the street soccer courts at the neighbourhood park near my place. Haven't played there in like three years or so haha, till Yao Yang my neighbour got me down after watching Friends. Was good fun and I got to interact a little with an odd enough mix of people ranging from obese secondary school kids to middle-aged bengs with tattoos who were smoking by the court. It was good fun and exercise but I felt a wee bit... left out because I just didn't quite fit into their lingo. But they were friendly and I was trying to be friendly too and was wary of going in too hard on the tackle hehe. Yeah they were nice blokes I guess.

Well I just have this urge to blog alot today haha so here I go. I'm trying my best not to be bothered about who reads this heh. Have had thoughts running through my head today about what I might think interesting enough to share. Naturally I am veered towards things that occupy my mind the most.

So maybe I should start with the Friends episodes I watched today. Basically it's interesting because Joey, my favourite character in the show, falls in love with his good friend Rachel. Joey's pretty cool, he's kinda like a Jughead except he's the total opposite of Jughead when it comes to dealing with girls - he's quite the Casanova. And it's interesting coming to see how he deals with actually having serious feelings for Rachel. And it's rather complicated too because Rachel at this point is pregnant having been knocked up by Ross, who is also part of the Friends clique. Yeah but besides that I was really interested in seeing how Joey came to struggle with his feelings for Rachel. And dare I say it might even have been cathartic lol lol. Oh and in the end Joey and Rachel have dinner and this is how it goes:

Joey: I think I have fallen in love with you...
Rachel: Oh Joey, I love you so much (as a friend presumably), but...
Joey (head in hands): But!...

I think I might have been close to tears during this scene because I've come to really like the character Joey. Ok maybe I exaggerate a little, but my heartstrings were tugged a little. Just felt so sad for Joey. Really felt the power of television then haha. Yeah but anyway I think love is such a crazy feeling and it's like a forbidden fruit that promises so much and can have you fluttering but can also leave you down in the dumps like, for the rest of your life haha. Not that I've experienced love or anything near it, but damn (excuse me heh) I can even sense its power from this far. Hence the retarded "poems" and random rubbish I've spouted about love. (And oh man, Love is Only a Feeling by The Darkness is such an AWESOME song, the lyrics and all. You really should check it out.)

Yeah but fascination about love aside, what plagues me and I suppose many naive, love-shorn teenagers like me are retarded crushes. I think teenage crushes are truly retarded and never should have been. I think it's just cruel. Crushes are really rather cruel. Like come on, like I don't have enough on my plate already and then a stupid retarded crush comes along. It's redundant and it's plain irritating. Sometimes I really wish I could well, just wish these truly retarded affections away. Away, away! Crushes are there to cheat, to confuse, to complicate, to consume and to confound. Blasted affections that masquerade as love and bring to unmatured/immature/seedling/naive minds hopes and dreams of a love of a lifetime/everlasting love/ blahblahblah. Yes I am really rather frustrated and sian that I am being plagued by such feelings. It's cruel. And I am struck. Drats.

But obviously it's not all bad. You've got little moments, like that bit of a rush when you see that unfortunate and hopefully unwitting one person. I think I have to say that I've done a real brill job at concealing whatever I feel and I think I really have my hold-your-horses nature (or some may simply say hum - that is, timid or put crudely, short for lacking certain spherical *ahem* anatomical parts. But whatever.) to thank. So good job Derek and I really don't see myself acting on these darned feelings because it's just not so very wise at this point, this age and this time of the year really. Or maybe it's not that big a crush afterall haha. Ya I might think it is really rather mild and WHOO I thank God, seriously. But I'm afraid I've just got to express myself a little. Hopefully you haven't read up to this point.

I certainly know where these stupid feelings stem from though. And the more I think about it, I go 'Hey perhaps it isn't all that stupid eh'. Well I was unfortunate (some would know why) to come to like this song "Fill My Little World" by The Feeling some years back and now it comes back and means a little more to me. Well I've got my little world here - my life actually, my sphere and things that happen to me. And well to fill my little world would be to presumably find someone to spend the rest of my earthly life with, and I guess pretty much everyone wants their own little worlds to be filled. It's this promise of a love that lasts a lifetime and the idea of spending the rest of my life with this special someone that's so, so, so appealing to me. It's funny, I hope everyone feels the same as me so I don't feel odd. (But it's cornroll so I guess it's not quite as awkward because I am safe behind my screen muahahah) Well at least Nickelback feels the same as me because there's "Gotta Be Someone for Me out There". Sounds really stupid but I think we might all just be waiting around (in some cases, actively seeking and in some scarier cases, predatorily hunting oh mine) for that special someone. Which is why crushes suck because they put into you ideas of spending the rest of your life with this particular person even though the better, more sensible part of me says 'no way'. And as long as that hope lingers it's tempting to imagine what it'd be like. My scene of spending my life with someone always is the car scene where I'm driving and my spouse is next to me, probably out grocery shopping or something. I don't know it seems to me the stereotypical image of a settled down, married life.

Ah there's a mouthful and I can go to sleep now. I have this rather scary thought at the back of my head that goes 'maybe its just me', but I'm rather sure a substantial number might share the same sentiments as me. Well hopefully so.














Hmm... maybe it's just me?

Pack your room la boy

Finally getting down to packing my room since studying for the CTs messed it right round right round. Played tennis today and the stringing job on my racket is really crap. Obviously these days I've been thinking a lot and I've been oscillating between emotions - I think it really tells on cornroll doesn't it. Most of the time I like cornroll because it really is like a friend I can always turn to. Creepy and weird, but true. But obviously it doesn't beat having a heart-to-heart chat with a friend I can connect with. A decent enough substitute though. I wonder if anyone really reads through all this. I know I wouldn't if I weren't me haha. Hmm sometimes I wonder why I've succumbed to blogging. The idea makes me a little uneasy at times. There's something very artificial about online stuff. A chat online may be extensive and last for hours, but might not do anything for the relationship at all. Facebook is rubbish, but we all like it. But maybe these things might help people who aren't very good expressing themselves in person (me me me). I like it that I'm able to stop and think at the end of each sentence and look back and check on the previous one. In a face-to-face conversation this would translate to an awkward silence. Sometimes I really would like to talk to certain people, but it's hard most of the time because I fear the awkward silence and that I would bore people out. My fears are founded too, because I am sometimes just that bad at being interesting. One of the virtues being promulgated back at Cat High was to be 'interesting as a person', but I'm not sure if the school actually played its part at cultivating interesting people. How do you be interesting? I don't know, sometimes I just think I'm unfortunate that I don't really have in me a desire to fly planes and engage in gang fights. I don't know how people become so passionate in something. It's something I've never experienced before and I'd sure like to find my passion. Guess for now I'm stoned and dull and not really interested in any pursuit yet. What to do? Be a yes-man?



Sometimes I wonder too how people are schooled in the art of conversation. It seems to come by naturally for the people I know. Maybe it's how you're brought up at home. Yeah I do think that nurturing obviously plays a substantial role in shaping how good a person is at conversing and connecting with people. Well it's just not really in my family to talk about how the day's gone at dinner. My sense of humour has also been pretty much brought out outside of the home. And I guess nature has its part too, I'm by nature not a very chatty person. Since young I've always shunned the limelight and would always prefer other people do the talking. Well on a number of occasions I've found this to be pretty handy in my relationships because I seldom regret what I say. But of course I get owned because I get lazy and don't really form my own opinions on stuff.

(ok I did this before dinner and playing street soccer (again!) so I'll just end the post here)

Glen

Contrary to reports, Aurelio is only out for a maximum of 1-2 months. Phew. Which means Dossena can be offloaded. And here's a picture of Glen Johnson in the Pool kit too. Nice...

Weekend's here. Have got to do H3 and random homework. It's been a rather slack week, but I'm kinda tired. Got my full history marks back... they're quite bad eep. And a ten year old boy just started talking to me on facebook chat... interesting. When I was ten I was playing basketball and IT-illiterate.

Patience

I like patient people. They are one my favourite kinds of people in the world because they are patient. It matters even more to me because some people think I'm mildly retarded when I speak, and I don't have the sharpest of wit too. So I like patient people because they listen. I hope I'm patient too. Well actually I have to be, because I live with me... and so I'd wait my turn to shine!

Hmmm

You do find out more about yourself as you go through life right? Quite a duh question but I wonder if people have been through an entire life not knowing who they are. Well I have been finding out about myself and yes I've found out quite a fair bit about myself (especially in the past 2 years in JC) through the experiences I've come to have. It's quite natural too that I figure out what I'm bad at, what I really suck at and what I am really uncomfortable with - I'm bad at making interesting conversation at times, I suck pretty bad at thinking logically and I'm generally uncomfortable with people. I think in the past year and a half I've come to have the most amount of bittersweet relationships and sometimes I miss relationships that aren't quite as complicated, i.e the ones I had in secondary school. I've never had so many mixed feelings towards so many people before and I guess it may be because I'm getting to know people deeper, or I speculate more about the intentions of people. Why is life and why are humans so fishticated???

Sleep is so good... and will get better

Proper school started today, the first day of term three. Proper school is boring. Fell asleep on a number of occasions during lesson today. Quite a term lies ahead, and I'm not quite ready for it. Gotta psyche myself into fruitfulness. Oh and we've got a rather new small classroom (J31) in the J block which will have the class more boxed in than ever. No more staring out of the window on rainy days. No more corners to retreat to. One more reason to like school less. But well we do have a coloured wall. Urgh. I am starting to become a rather negative, pessimistic and cynical person. I don't like it and this is not the person I want to be too. But these days it's hard waking up happy because sadness is so easy to slip into. How, I'm losing the joy and I think it tells sometimes because I think I don't smile as much anymore. Why do we require so much affirmation?

Quite a sight that sickens...